Passive Aggressive T
Every relationship passes through what exactly is typically called the “Honeymoon Phase” – the period in the beginning as soon as we become insufferable to those we are trying to get to know each other; during the courtship the goal/intention is to win affection around us with all the cooing, the being velcro’d at the hips, feeding each other apple pie and the un-ending verbal gushing about how wonderful the other person is.
This is the part of the process where. We are hell bent on convincing the other person that you deserve their affections. So much so them the type of person we THINK is the type of person they want to be with, we present what we perceive to be our “best side,” which gives unending fodder to all the TV situation comedies out there.
One of the key elements of humans is pleasure and fun that we will present to. In the act of making a “playful” environment which will entice this partner that is new stay with them, one thing people will do is use that sense of playfulness to define their boundaries. We will tease each other as a way of showing things they will tease gently, playfully with the covert intention of saying “I think that is stupid/silly. that they value or devalue – so if a partner is doing something the other thinks is silly or stupid,” even though it’s funny at that time, there clearly was a underlining intention that is serious. Ever hear of the idiom “Comedy is a way that is funny of serious”?
The reason we get it done in a way that is teasing because we ware still in the honeymoon stage. We have to do it in a real way that still brings a feeling of pleasure to another person; we have to continue steadily to prove our company is the individual they would like to be with. Once the relationship continues, it becomes a pattern also it continues forward and backward since the a couple do items to balance power, set boundaries etc.
There is, however, a tipping point where it becomes an excessive amount of a communication style that is relied-upon. It starts to create feeling of resentment and shame while it WAS meant in good fun, as the relationship matures. When over 1 / 2 of the communication into the relationship becomes the teasing/belittling, the suffering that is unconscious slowly build and that building of unconscious suffering transforms into abuse.
In the early stages it was teasing and playfulness such as correcting the other person (words, way they dress, how they do something), playful violence, those types of things can lead to an emotionally and relationship that is physically abusive. It happens comment by comment as abuse until it escalates to where even outsiders can see it. Ever wonder why someone doesn’t leave an relationship that is abusive? This is the reason; it happens so slowly, building off the honeymoon feel-good teasing it coming.The that they never see concept is you are in a relationship with; be mindful of their intent and how they make you feel that you want to be aware and pay attention to the behaviors of those. Negative behaviors that be seemingly completed with an optimistic intention that is overt actually be negative. You have moved into the territory of abuse.
This is when you get help and/or start using your Verbal Self Defense when it stops being fun and playful and your reaction becomes filled with feelings of shame and resentment, then. It really is your decision to cease the cycle.(*)sexting website(*)
(*)California sexual abuse attorneys(*)